You have a dream that opens up old sores? (I hate using that phrase because it sounds so gross but it just seemed so appropriate.) Well, I just had a dream like that early this morning. I woke up about 3am or so and couldn't go back to sleep. It was a stupid dream about the girl that got hired at Garfield. She was acting so pompous in the dream (like that's different from real life). I woke up and was angry and sad all at the same time. Why is this affecting me so badly? It's just a small position and it's hurting me...well, I know why it's hurting me and I've already said it a million times--I feel personally wronged even though I really shouldn't. Hey, I can't help how I feel and that's mainly because I don't have an explanation yet. So, I got up out of bed at about 3:30 or 3:45 and just went into another room because I was tossing and turning and I didn't want to wake up Kyle since he only had about an hour left of sleep. Turns out that he couldn't go back to sleep either because he had just woke up too. We were both up at 4am. Wow. At least it gave him some leisure time to read the newspaper and have several cups of coffee! :)
Well, I didn't make it a pleasant morning though because I was griping about my dream and the reason why I might've had the dream. I told him that I guess this goes to show don't get too comfortable at a school--you never know what might happen. I was REALLY comfortable at this school and had made some good teacher friends in the process--everyone kept asking me over the summer, "are you coming back to us? Are you working at Garfield again?" They all were so genuinely interested in what I was going to do for the following school year. I felt like I was really liked and wanted for the first time since moving out here. And I still am, but I don't feel very accepted by the principal right now. And that's sad because when I was first hired, I felt so good with him being there because he reminded me of my uncle Dan. Same voice, same height, same kind of look. Now how does he look to me? I dunno. I got emotional this morning and I didn't really mean to. As much as I hate to say it, I think it's hormone-induced (aka a little PMS-y). I think I might either need to change the birth control prescription (because this has been happening for awhile at about the same time every month) or get a life, one. Hahaha. Okay, too many feminine problems for the possible male readers out there--sorry! I'm just trying to sort out my feelings because last night wasn't easy either. I was not too nice to Kyle (unintentionally) and the feelings he had last night kind of carried over into this morning. It's all good now though so no worries. :)
Ugh...I will get over this, I promise and then ya'll won't have to hear it anymore. Cross my heart. I want to know the reason and I'm too chicken (plus it's probably weird) to call someone that might know the reason why I never got called. I just need to start working and get my mind busy. That's probably the biggest issue and why I'm having all these issues. Too much time to think. Once school starts up and I start my classes at BSU, it'll all just kind of disappear, I'm sure. There...I'm done. Thanks so much for hearing me out (if you got this far).
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