I know I can't be spoon-fed, but...

This is just scaring me a little bit...I just found out that our very first assignment for this first graduate class that I'm taking is due next weekend! AHHH!! We haven't had any instruction yet! I have no aim as to what I want to talk about..the topic(s) that we have to write about are supposed to have the focus of issues supporting acquisition in language and literacy. WHA??? How do I go about finding a specific topic that fits within that framework? The good thing is that the assignment is just a rough outline and it's not going to be graded but I have to have something and I can't go in there empty handed, can I? I emailed the professor to ask when exactly the outline was due (either Friday or Saturday) because the class is 3 intensive weekends in the month of September and October and it'll be on Friday evenings from 4-10pm and Saturdays 8-5pm! So, when would this outline be due? At the end of class on Saturday? Those are just some of the questions I asked him since he didn't give any exact details. I don't want to screw this up right away. We're paying all this money for me to do this and I want to succeed and not give a bad impression. I'm stressing just a little bit but not overly stressing. Just a little worried that's all.


*HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MOM AND DAD!!*

As suspected..

The job for the GATE teacher has been removed probably because it has been filled without even giving ALL candidates a shot...the world of education is so cruel. Oh and I haven't gotten a call yet for subbing probably because it was the first day of school and what teacher would miss the first day of school? It's all the days between the first and the last that they want to miss--haha!




*as I was just writing that, my phone rang and it was a teacher at Garfield wanting me to sub for her 3rd grade class on Friday--see? what did I tell ya?*

YAY!

I now weigh 21.2 pounds lighter(again)...and still planning on losing more because of the training. I feel good. Guess after the half-marathon is done, I better keep this running going if I don't want to gain what I lost due to the (excessive) running back.

Why not just exercise naked?

I was at the gym and saw a woman there that was obviously wanting men to ogle her. I mean, I'm all about being proud about your body and what you're given (either naturally or what you can afford) but how about just a LITTLE bit more modesty? I admit, I've always been very modest when it comes to showing too much skin but I guess she's never been that way. I believe that she had probably bought herself a nice chest and the only reason I can even describe this is because of how much she was showing--nothing much left to the imagination because the shirt was cut so low that a "normal-chested" woman wouldn't have been able to wear this shirt without being taken in for indecent exposure. The funny thing was that this woman kept pulling the shirt lower as if it wasn't low enough. I dunno, I just feel that the gym should be a place where all people feel comfortable. She could've worn the same shirt that was cut a little higher and it still would've shown off her body the way she wanted it to but it would've seemed a little less skanky. I'm sorry.

It doesn't hurt to try, right?

I just had the craziest and random idea: what if I tried to apply to be a GATE (gifted and talented) teacher? It's a certified position. I know it's probably going to be too much for me but maybe, just maybe, they'd consider me and then what's the worst that could happen? They turn me down? Oh well. The one thing that kind of worried me was that the job qualifications said that the person should hold an Idaho Standard Certificate (check--got that) and/or be willing to work towards an appropriate K-12 Gifted and Talented Endorsement. Well, I'm willing I guess as long as they give me some time to work with my ESL stuff too. We'll see. It's worth a shot, right? I can always turn it down if it proves to be too much once I hear what all is involved. Plus, I'm not even sure they'll even call me for an interview anyway. They could already have somebody on deck but are just posting the position for technicalities. Anyway, we'll see how it goes...it sure would be nice to have an extra $15,000 in the bank....

Under Pressure

I've been thinking about this a lot: many women around me that I know, whether it's friends or family, are having babies or are working on a second or third. While I know it's not something that I want at this point and time, I still feel the pressure and I think Kyle does sometimes too but not as much as me since women tend to feel this pressure a lot more. I feel like it's almost expected of me to have already had one or be working on having one at this point. There's a part of me that says, "why not? why not go ahead and just do it?" and then there's another part of me that says, "no, no, no...it's not in my plan for my life right now--I've got to finish my Master's!!" Well, I just feel that when I'm going to have a baby, I want ALL of me to say YES. I shouldn't have any doubts as to whether I want one or not--it should just happen and I'll be pleased and happy about it. Kyle and I have talked about this before and he asked me if he'll ever feel parental instincts and want to have a child and he even asked me if I'm feeling them yet. I told him that women tend to feel them before men and it's natural that way because of our motherly instincts kicking in about this time or something but I also told him that I want both of us to be ready at the same time. We still have so much we want to do and accomplish (i.e. more travelling to distant places, schooling, a little more money in our pockets, etc). *sigh* It's just overwhelming at times. I've even had a close friend ask me, "So? Are you two thinking about having a baby pretty soon? I mean, ya'll are coming up on your 2 year anniversary, right?" As if that's supposed to be the "time" to have one. Like, "okay, you've had your fun for 2 years, now go make a baby!" Everybody has their different "time" and I just don't think that ours is right now. I've known people who wait for at least 5 years before having children! I still don't know when our time will be exactly but I know that it is still way off in the distance...

Blah blah blah

Getting ready to sub and I'm getting antsy for school to start...I know a few weeks into the school year I'll be begging for a break but for now--it'll just be nice to have some more social interaction. First day of school: August 25th. Oh and newsflash: My friend Rellis told me that she felt that the reason I didn't get the job was because it's an insider job and she made me feel a lot better so that I didn't think that the reason was personal.

Show-stopper

CONGRATULATIONS TO MY COUSIN, ERIN! She just got engaged to her boyfriend, Oscar! Yay! I must say that her ring is a show-stopper! woo hoo!





I did my next segment of training today (3 miles at an easy pace) AND THEN, I decided that I would go to my regular dance class because I hadn't been in awhile and I kinda missed it. So, altogether I ended up doing about an hour and a half worth of exercise...dang. Don't know if that's good for my joints or not because my knees are starting to hurt from all the running and then the dance class required us to jump around a lot. Needless to say, I didn't do some of the jumping--just faked it. I hope I don't mess up my knees too badly before this half-marathon! This knee hurting though is apparently common among joggers because a coworker of Kyle's said that he had just run a 7 mile race and his knees are still hurting, especially while he was training. I'm sure there's an exercise out there that strengthens the knees so that maybe they won't hurt as much. I think I'll look it up tonight. Anyways, training is still going well except that I'm starting to feel the monotonous of the treadmill but I'm still gonna keep going! As soon as it cools down more outside, I'll probably try to run more outdoors so that I can get used to that. The treadmill is good right now so that I can get used to the different paces and see which one feels the best for me so that I don't go too fast and wear myself out quicker.


Alrighty, that's about it. More later. Again, CONGRATULATIONS TO ERIN AND OSCAR!

Training is difficult especially when...

I'm planning on going the whole distance (in this case, 8.5 miles) on the treadmill but my stomach starts hurting like I have to go to the bathroom so I have to stop and get off the treadmill to go...and then nothing happens. My stomach just hurts from gas, I guess..haha. Too much information? I will try again tomorrow maybe--either I'll do the other half and see how my stomach feels and if it's feeling fine, I may just try the whole distance again. If I can't go a small 8.5 mile distance, how am I ever gonna reach 13 miles?




p.s. The quote I chose for the heading seemed appropriate for everything we've done since the time we left Georgia to come out to the Northwest...The quote will probably change periodically depending on what mood I'm in or whatever we've been facing lately.

Don't you just hate it when...?

You have a dream that opens up old sores? (I hate using that phrase because it sounds so gross but it just seemed so appropriate.) Well, I just had a dream like that early this morning. I woke up about 3am or so and couldn't go back to sleep. It was a stupid dream about the girl that got hired at Garfield. She was acting so pompous in the dream (like that's different from real life). I woke up and was angry and sad all at the same time. Why is this affecting me so badly? It's just a small position and it's hurting me...well, I know why it's hurting me and I've already said it a million times--I feel personally wronged even though I really shouldn't. Hey, I can't help how I feel and that's mainly because I don't have an explanation yet. So, I got up out of bed at about 3:30 or 3:45 and just went into another room because I was tossing and turning and I didn't want to wake up Kyle since he only had about an hour left of sleep. Turns out that he couldn't go back to sleep either because he had just woke up too. We were both up at 4am. Wow. At least it gave him some leisure time to read the newspaper and have several cups of coffee! :)



Well, I didn't make it a pleasant morning though because I was griping about my dream and the reason why I might've had the dream. I told him that I guess this goes to show don't get too comfortable at a school--you never know what might happen. I was REALLY comfortable at this school and had made some good teacher friends in the process--everyone kept asking me over the summer, "are you coming back to us? Are you working at Garfield again?" They all were so genuinely interested in what I was going to do for the following school year. I felt like I was really liked and wanted for the first time since moving out here. And I still am, but I don't feel very accepted by the principal right now. And that's sad because when I was first hired, I felt so good with him being there because he reminded me of my uncle Dan. Same voice, same height, same kind of look. Now how does he look to me? I dunno. I got emotional this morning and I didn't really mean to. As much as I hate to say it, I think it's hormone-induced (aka a little PMS-y). I think I might either need to change the birth control prescription (because this has been happening for awhile at about the same time every month) or get a life, one. Hahaha. Okay, too many feminine problems for the possible male readers out there--sorry! I'm just trying to sort out my feelings because last night wasn't easy either. I was not too nice to Kyle (unintentionally) and the feelings he had last night kind of carried over into this morning. It's all good now though so no worries. :)


Ugh...I will get over this, I promise and then ya'll won't have to hear it anymore. Cross my heart. I want to know the reason and I'm too chicken (plus it's probably weird) to call someone that might know the reason why I never got called. I just need to start working and get my mind busy. That's probably the biggest issue and why I'm having all these issues. Too much time to think. Once school starts up and I start my classes at BSU, it'll all just kind of disappear, I'm sure. There...I'm done. Thanks so much for hearing me out (if you got this far).

What's for dinner, woman?

I'm cooking lasagna right now...mmmmm...I tried to make it exactly Core but for some reason, I couldn't find fat-free mozzarella cheese--does such a thing exist? I found reduced fat mozzarella but no fat-free...oh well, close enough! Everything else is Core so maybe a little cheese won't hurt me.


I'm in full swing of the training for the half-marathon. How's it goin', you ask? Well, it's....going good. I'm staying on track with all my requirements and I'm feeling more muscular in the leg region and I'm noticing less bulge in the belly! Oh and as of now, it's just an army of one. Kyle didn't feel like he could commit to the training because of work schedule, which is true--I don't want to exhaust him.


The only problem is that I have to keep eating! hahaha...I get hungry so much! I even get hungry right before bed and let me tell ya, that's really annoying! If I don't fall asleep before it gets too bad, I have to get up and go eat a little something before going to sleep. Kyle thinks it's crazy that I get hungry so often but I don't want to starve myself! That's not good for someone who's trying to run a lot. I don't like the feeling of blacking out while running! I've had little spells like that before (not so much blacking out completely but having the feeling of heaviness in my head and just the bare beginnings of darkness). So, when that happens I stop and go get some water and I usually call it a day until I feel better the next time. That's why I went on Core so that I could eat as much fruit and veggies as needed and lean meats and snacks like 94% fat free popcorn or sugar-free/fat-free pudding--a lifesaver! So it's going good so far. There are times when I'm running on the treadmill and it feels useless and I feel like stopping but now I can't since I've paid my money AND it's helping me get into shape quicker than I could ever imagine! :)

The Trip to Twin Falls (continued)

This past Saturday, I went with my friend, Maren and her fiance, Stephen, to Twin Falls in order to go to the new Temple that they built there and they were having an open house. That's the only way people who don't have Temple recommends or non LDS people can go in is when there's an open house. It was a great trip! We three rode together and listened to music on the way. We pulled into the parking lot of the Temple and there was only 1 person who was protesting the existence of Mormonism. There had to be hundreds of people there and only 1 of him yelling at the top of his lungs how Mormonism isn't Christian. To me, it's not Christian to be standing on the corner condemning another religion (no matter what it is)! Anyway, we took some group pictures outside the chapel while we waited for our group to be brought into the chapel in preparation for the tour. Our group was finally able to go in and so we were led into the chapel to sit and listen to some pretty piano music while we waited. That time was spent just visiting some more with people. After about 30-40ish minutes, we were able to be taken to a video presentation room.


The video just basically told us about the history of how Mormon pioneers came out west after much persecution. They also explained how calm and serene the different rooms in the temple are and how close one can come to God. Married couples are sealed for eternity as well as children are sealed to the parents for eternity. They believe that once people die, they shouldn't be taken away from each other once they die. This kind of got me thinking: What if a young couple gets married (say about mid 20s) and then an accident happens and one dies and untimely death--is the other allowed to marry again since they are sealed for eternity? Also, what if the marriage ends up being an abusive relationship like with physical and/or verbal abuse--does one have to stick with that partner even though their marriage is deteriorating? Those are some questions I have that I should ask Maren...she's more than happy to answer questions that I might have. Anyway, we finally got to go into the temple and it was BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! There were paintings and murals all over the walls in each hallway and each room. There are 2 Endowment rooms that are considered the education rooms where they come in and learn about their purpose here on Earth and their mission in life in one and that first room has a HUGE mural all over the wall that depicts the Magic Valley area with nature all around and animals and whatnot. The second Endowment room is more lit up with more light and the walls are rather a pure white to signify more knowledge and enlightenment. Maren told me while we were in there that she greatly appreciated having me there--a friend to share this experience with! The next room that we went into required us not to talk at all because it was the Celestial room where people come to meditate and reflect on their life and their mission here on Earth. We walked in and the first thing I noticed was the gigantuan chandelier! It was so gorgeous! The whole room was a mixture of white and ivory and cream colors to represent Heaven. It was the best room ever!


Oh and I forgot to tell you about the dressing rooms--I know, you're thinking, "why dressing rooms?" Well, when Mormons come into the temple, they go into these dressing rooms and take off their "street clothes" and change into white dresses for the women or suits for the men to make them pure and clean from the outside world and all its troubles. All Mormons must wear Temple underwear (like white undershirts and stuff). It's really different but it's so interesting to me to learn about different religions! It was just really refreshing to learn about something that I had never really been exposed to. I definitely think it was an extremely worthwhile trip! On the way back I asked some of my questions such as why they can't drink coke and coffee. They actually can drink coke but only if they don't go to Temple regularly or something like that. But none of them seem to drink coffee at all. They can drink herbal tea but not regular tea--which I thought that all tea was herbal, but oh well. I felt really comfortable with Maren and Stephen on Saturday because I knew that they wouldn't push anything on me but would be willing to answer any questions that I had.

My Trip to the Twin Falls LDS Temple Open House

We just got to the Temple in Twin Falls and we weren't allowed to take cameras inside so we had to take pictures outside.
Cool sky with the Temple in the distance--kinda ominous, huh?
Stephen and Maren--the lovebirds who are going to be married on 8-08-08. I don't think I have a picture of them NOT kissing... hehehe..
Beautiful sky and such a crisp, white Temple to contrast. The statue on top of the spire is their angel, Moroni.

I will write a longer story later, I just wanted to let you get a glimpse of what an LDS Temple actually looks like!

It's official...

I've paid my City of Trees half-marathon registration money so there's no backing out now!

Yikes

I ran about 4 miles this morning (some of it was fast-paced walking, mostly running). Maybe I didn't drink enough water during the course of the exercising but after I got home, I didn't feel too well. A little queasy. But no big deal, I better after I ate something after my weigh-in. Now, don't get me wrong, I ate cereal before I went so it's not like I didn't eat anything at all before running. It was fun though. I didn't feel too uncomfortable--it wasn't too hard to keep going on the treadmill. I felt accomplished--too bad it was only half of what the training program wanted but fortunately, I was a day early in the training program. The schedule wants me to run 8.5 miles at an easy pace (which is about 12-12:30 min/mile and that's a pretty relaxed pace) with 2 minute breaks every 12 minutes but I figured I didn't need a break every single mile. It's already gonna take me over an hour to run the 8.5 miles with that pace, I didn't want to extend it anymore. But I guess I should follow the instructions so I don't hurt myself, right? The schedule says I should've done that tomorrow--I just wanted to practice. I'll do it tomorrow and try to go the whole way.