I had to turn off the Paula Deen show today not because it disgusted me with how much butter she used but it was because of what she was making. She was making chocolate peanut butter cups in a blanket...with marshmallows. The blanket was puff pastry. Hello, my name is Jennifer and I am battling a peanut butter chocolate craving addiction.. Nothing tastes better than chocolate and peanut butter all mixed together, melted together, all of the above. Especially when you add puff pastry and marshmallows to the mix! Good lord, Paula! You're tryin' to kill me! My latest craze on my "free" days is s'mores, except for instead of just using plain chocolate, you put a reese's pb cup/bar segment in it. They now are making reese's candy bars--much easier for making these kinds of things!!! Arggghhh! I will say though that this week I've been doing VERY well. I went out with my friend, Karen to go pick up her daughter at the mall and the friends with her said that they wanted to go to DQ. You're thinking disaster, right? Nope. We pulled up to the drive thru and they took their orders and when Karen asked me if I wanted anything, I said no. She asked if I was sure and I said yes, I'm sure. I made it through a DQ trip without getting anything! There was all this pressure of everyone else getting a blizzard and a cone and I stuck to my guns and didn't order anything. I felt pretty accomplished. Also, today Kyle wanted to go out and get fast food for lunch and I didn't want to say no to him but I did anyway. I said that we really should stay in and eat what we've got. I did want to go out but I just knew that I'd be at a weak point today and actually give in and get something bad so the best solution was for us to stay in. I told him I didn't want to keep him from going and getting what he wanted but he decided to save the money. Good choice. :) That way I didn't have to sit there and smell what he was eating and be tortured. I've been hungry this week but I've been trying to go to the gym whenever I get the overwhelming urge to just eat whatever we have in the pantry. I've been grateful for the big box of individual sized popcorn bags in our pantry because I grab those whenever I feel too munchy. They're only 1 point per bag. They're my saving grace this week. It's so hard to be "on" all the time though. I'm trying not to let it get me down though. Gym is getting extremely boring to me no matter what I do. It's too hot to be outside lately for running. Once it cools down more, I'll get back to that but it's just so hard when everyone I see is not caring what they put into their mouths. My problem is that I care too much and I feel extremely guilty for indulging a little on a "non-free" day. I know I complain a lot about this stuff and I'm sorry if I bore my readers but there's only so much I can talk to Kyle about this too. I'm not even into coming up with new ways of exercising, it's so boring right now. I just know that I have to do it or else I pay for it later. This weight "issue" that I have (even though I've seemed to have licked it pretty good) is still haunting me. It's definitely an emotional problem that I have. Food comforts me even though I might not have any problems/stresses right now. For some reason, I just feel better with food and I have a lot of friends right now that don't understand that, except for the WW people. At the same time, I'm in better shape than they are so I feel like I can't really complain to them either even though I know we're all there at the meetings for a reason: FOOD. Why do I have to eat? Why can't I just detach myself from food and only look at it as an object with no comforting abilities--0nly the ability to make me satisfied from hunger? It's so weird! Maybe I should talk to my doctor about this and they might be able to shed some light on this. Maybe.
Okay, it's late for me. I'm starting to feel emotional because of the late-ness. Thanks for listening. :) I love you all!
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