Okay, I admit it...I have a problem with myself right now. Since I've started Weightwatchers, I've done really well--losing almost 20 pounds, give or take a few because of my recent plateaus and whatnot. Now, I'm having a lot of trouble staying focused. I'm afraid that I've gotten bored with the gym and I've even gotten bored with eating healthfully. I've been trying and trying but it's so hard especially when Kyle doesn't seem to worry about such things even though he did just tell me that he's having a hard time gaining weight when he probably should be about 165 or so but instead he's in the 140s. I realize that thin people have problems too just like I do. Our goals are just different. My weight will always be a problem for me and I will constantly have to watch it and maintain/lose weight. I just had a therapy session with Kyle saying that I feel like I've been eating a lot lately and I think I know why...
Since I've plateaued, I've kind of "given up" on trying to break it. I've tried earlier on but nothing seemed to work (i.e. more intense workouts, or denying myself that special treat). Now it just seems as though I'm wanting to rebel and say, "screw it" and eat whatever-- like I've been deprived. I know I haven't been deprived though. I've been able to eat and not reap any bad effects. However, if I take out those treats totally, I know that it'll only affect me badly in the end because I may just splurge even worse later! I feel like I'm stuck in some sort of rut. Maybe I'm bored by being at home now during the summer? That's probably it. I also feel like I'm starting to resent watching my weight--like why do other people not really have to "worry" about weight? I just don't know what to do with myself. I know that if I quit Weightwatchers, I'll gain all that I lost and then some, so I know I don't want to quit because it has helped me make healthier choices for myself (it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle(aka, drug because you can't quit it)--I guess I just need a buddy close by that is doing the same thing that I'm doing and we can go at these problems together. I need encouragement instead of "are you sure you can eat that?" or "muscle weighs more than fat". I need some reassuring that I can get through this and I need a workout buddy. It's hard to go workout with Kyle because most of the time, he's working and it's too late when he gets home. I don't have any really close girlfriends here yet so it's difficult to find somebody like that. I've been trying to contact my friend, Tanya, but for some reason she's not responding. We used to go to the gym on most Fridays together. She's on a weird schedule because of classes and working full time.
Why is this so hard? I guess if it were easy, everyone could lose (gain) weight and keep it off (or on). *sigh* I just wish losing weight were easier for me. :/
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